Ralphs brand mayonaise sucks. It’s oily and sub-par. That is all.
I am becoming more disenchanted with the Bella and Edward world. I just watched the movie last weekend and was less impressed than I was with the book. I wanted to laugh several times (at non-funny parts), but thought that might ruin the experience for my family. (My 15 year old son liked the movie.)
So, an online writer friend sympathized with my disenchantment and told me about this t-shirt. Here’s the blurby thing from the site where you can buy it.
Don’t you think the vampires-are-people-too thing has gone a little too far? I mean, the whole point of a vampire is that they survive by sucking your blood. I don’t care if his skin glows and twinkles and he smells like kittens and fabric softener, he’s still just a glorified syringe. Remember the last time you had blood drawn? Yeah, me too, and it sucked! It’s time we put an end to this nonsense: Edward, may I treat you to a stake dinner?
Now, I have never watched Buffy, but this still cracked me up. Kittens and fabric softener? LMAO!
I work at Starbucks. Most of the time customers are really nice. Sometimes, they’re…not. I can usually weather the idiots without getting upset. However, once in a while, someone rubs me the wrong way. Bagel Jerk, as I not-so-fondly refer to him as, is one of those people.
A guy comes in and says, “I want two plain bagels.”
I say, “I’m sorry, we’ve sold out of plain bagels. All we have left are the cheese bagels.”
He makes a face. “I don’t like cheese bagels.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Are you waiting for something else, sir?” I ask.
My jaw drops. “I thought you didn’t want them.”
“You mean after all that, you didn’t get the bagels???” He looks incredulous and angry. That made two of us.
“I thought you said you didn’t like cheese bagels.”
So, tensely we conduct another transaction, because obviously I didn’t make him pay for the bagels when he ordered the first time. He gets his nasty cheese bagels and leaves.