Ralphs brand mayonaise sucks. It’s oily and sub-par. That is all.
T-Shirt Hilarity
I am becoming more disenchanted with the Bella and Edward world. I just watched the movie last weekend and was less impressed than I was with the book. I wanted to laugh several times (at non-funny parts), but thought that might ruin the experience for my family. (My 15 year old son liked the movie.)
So, an online writer friend sympathized with my disenchantment and told me about this t-shirt. Here’s the blurby thing from the site where you can buy it.
Don’t you think the vampires-are-people-too thing has gone a little too far? I mean, the whole point of a vampire is that they survive by sucking your blood. I don’t care if his skin glows and twinkles and he smells like kittens and fabric softener, he’s still just a glorified syringe. Remember the last time you had blood drawn? Yeah, me too, and it sucked! It’s time we put an end to this nonsense: Edward, may I treat you to a stake dinner?
Now, I have never watched Buffy, but this still cracked me up. Kittens and fabric softener? LMAO!
Thursday 3: Twilight Semi-Fan
Thursday 13 is too much. I only do three.
I just finished New Moon, the second Bella and Edward book. Again, I’m underwhelmed. Here are three reasons why (spoilers may ensue):
1. It begins with 400 pages of not much: Bella angsts over losing Edward (a hell of a lot), hallucinates, and makes a new best friend. The final 100 pages or so are better. Stuff finally happens.
2. Bella uses Jacob horribly. As soon as Edward comes back into the picture, she dumps him. Bitch. Jacob deserves better. Bella is not a heroine I like.
3. I’m sorry, but I can’t buy that a roomful of tourists are drained of their blood in Volturra and no one in the media makes a big fuss. Is this a regular occurence? Why haven’t the authorities discovered the existence of a vampire coven?
I’m going to give Eclipse a chance, only because a friend at work said number four is really good. I hope the library is able to get me a copy before I lose interest. The movie should be arriving via Blockbuster tomorrow, so we’ll see how that goes.
Bagel Jerk
I work at Starbucks. Most of the time customers are really nice. Sometimes, they’re…not. I can usually weather the idiots without getting upset. However, once in a while, someone rubs me the wrong way. Bagel Jerk, as I not-so-fondly refer to him as, is one of those people.
A guy comes in and says, “I want two plain bagels.”
I say, “I’m sorry, we’ve sold out of plain bagels. All we have left are the cheese bagels.”
He makes a face. “I don’t like cheese bagels.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
He continues to complain about how he doesn’t like cheese bagels and I tell him again that sometimes we sell out of stuff. He goes on to order several drinks and then he pays. A few customers later, I notice the bagel guy (he was still just a “guy” at that point) is still standing near my register.
“Are you waiting for something else, sir?” I ask.
“My bagels.”
My jaw drops. “I thought you didn’t want them.”
“You mean after all that, you didn’t get the bagels???” He looks incredulous and angry. That made two of us.
“I thought you said you didn’t like cheese bagels.”
“I still wanted them!” he declares, irate.
So, tensely we conduct another transaction, because obviously I didn’t make him pay for the bagels when he ordered the first time. He gets his nasty cheese bagels and leaves.
Idiot. When you tell someone you don’t like what they have, they’re going to assume you don’t want to order them. Now when he comes in, I always pray we’re sold out of the plain bagels. LOL
Thing is, he came in again yesterday. I hear a little snippet of conversation at the register. I look up to see Bagel Jerk. He’s, of course, asking about the plain bagels. Someone has cut all the ones in the case, He wants two bagels, uncut, toasted, with cream cheese, and some drinks. Samantha, who was taking his order, says, “Okay.” She knows we have another bag of plain bagels, uncut, behind the counter. They finish the transaction. Then, another partner (at Starbucks we’re all called partners) goes to make his bagels, and he says to her, “Oh, you have them uncut?”
“Yes.”
Somewhat surprised, he says, “Oh. Well, I really want mine cut and toasted, but I just wanted to see what you would say.”
So, he was freakin’ TESTING us to see if we’d lie about whether we had them uncut or not. Like maybe we’d sell him the bagels and THEN say, belatedly that we didn’t have them uncut after he’d already paid.
Like I said, Bagel JERK.
